


Piece by Piece

by CaptainScience



Category: Free!
Genre: 30 years of Haru's life in one fic, All Haru's ever wanted was a home, Childhood abandonment issues, Day 1, M/M, Mpreg, Switching, not abo, prompt: firsts, prompt: welcome home, sakuraweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:56:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6528352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainScience/pseuds/CaptainScience
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nanase Haruka never thought he’d be whole again. Not after his parents left. Not after his grandmother died. Not after he was left alone. </p>
<p>But Rin’s always loved a good challenge, and Haru is definitely worth the effort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Piece by Piece

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so I heard this song for the first time and I have no idea why but it instantly made me think of Haru and his absentee parents. One thing lead to another, Sakuraweek was a thing, aaaaand this fic ended up happening. I know a lot of people dislike mpreg so sorry for that one, I tried to figure out adoption in Japan and short of Haru adopting Rin and marrying Gou and legally adopting Sakura with Gou but raising him with Rin I couldn't figure out how to make it work. SO. Everyone can magically have babies! This route let me do a lot more with the fic anyways, though.
> 
> Other than that and Haru's parents leaving when he was 6 versus 13 or whatnot, this fic is actually entirely canon compliant. Oddly enough. 
> 
> Also, if you listen to the song (it's by Kelly Clarkson) please please PLEASE listen to one of her live concert versions. The album version is so meh compared to the stripped down piano version. 
> 
> Thanks to Ashanizer as well for reading over this and reassuring me that it wasn't horrible. Thank you lovely!

 

 

**_And all I remember is your back  
Walking towards the airport, leaving us all in your past_ **

 

 

When his parents leave for the airport, he doesn’t understand it. His grandmother holds his chubby hand tight as he says his goodbyes, receives his hugs and his surplus of promises.

 

“We’ll be back, Haruka. I promise.”

 

“We love you, Haruka. Your father, he needed to take this job. We need to be able to provide for you, you understand? This is for you, we’re doing all of this because of you. Because you deserve more. Your grandmother’ll be here for you, okay? She’ll take care of you until we get back. It’s just for a few years, until the contract expires. Then we’ll come home.”

 

_Because of you_ echoes in his mind on the train ride back to their home. At 6-years-old, Haruka already knows he’s not good enough. That he causes problems.

 

The contract is extended over and over again. They don’t come back.

 

By 15 he’s completely alone.

 

 

**_I traveled fifteen hundred miles to see you  
begged you to want me, but you didn't want to_ **

 

 

Occasionally he still gets a letter from his mom. They’re short and to the point, full of apologies and excuses. Usually he ignores them, but a few months ago, right after he’d been selected for the Olympic team in London, a letter had come. It’s short like they all are, but this one contains a new phone number and new address alongside an offer for some money if he needs it. It dawns on him then that they must not be aware he’s made the team, that they haven’t been following his budding swim career. Do they even realize he’s competed at Worlds twice? He’d even medaled in Shanghai. Two golds and a silver.

 

Right before the flight to London he goes back to that letter, reads that address, finally makes the connection. His parents are stationed in London for work. They can make it.

 

He calls the number, unsurprised when it goes to voicemail. His message is shaky and brief, but with blatant nervousness he asks them to come. Quietly begs them to be there. It’s been so many years yet he can’t shake the desperate need for their approval.

 

 

**_But piece by piece, he collected me  
up off the ground, where you abandoned things, yeah_ **

 

 

Nothing has prepared him for the Olympics; not even Worlds. The buzzing electricity practically crackles in the air, the atmosphere on fire, his stomach churning in knots as the enormity of the situation sets in. This is yet another of the hundreds of sights Rin has promised to show him, and no amount of grand words could have prepared him for how it all feels.

 

He and Rin enter the natatorium side-by-side for warm ups, and Haruka can’t keep his eyes from wandering. He scans every seat, tongue darting over his lips with a nervousness he’ll never confess to. Even though his race is coming up, his parents are nowhere to be seen.

 

He wants to believe it doesn’t bother him. That he expected it. But he’s lying to himself and they both know it. When they finish warm-ups and head back to the locker room for the few minutes before their heat, Rin immediately takes him aside. They duck away towards the showers, away from prying eyes (though he has little doubt watchers would have stopped Rin- most things don’t). As soon as they’re alone Rin’s slightly larger hands envelop his own, and his eyes are drawn up to those fiery, passionate reds.

 

“We did it, Haru. All those thousands of hours of hard work, of pain and exhaustion, of failure and success, of wins and losses… we earned this. Together we earned this. We swim for ourselves. For each other. _For the team_. And no matter what happens out there, we’ve already won. We’ve made it this far. No one can take our hard work away from us. So when we get out there focus only on yourself. On what you’ve earned. Nothing else matters.”

 

Haruka nods and deep down he knows Rin’s right. They’ve both worked _so hard_ , side-by-side, to make their dreams a reality. Win or lose, they’ve accomplished so much. They’re only 21 and 22. This is far from their last shot.

 

They take their marks for the 100 meter free.

 

Neither of them medal. But it’s okay.

 

A few days later they earn an unprecedented gold, together, in the 4x100m medley. They stand side-by-side on the podium, hands linked together. Rin’s a shaky, sobbing mess and Haruka… well, there’s no one in the audience for him but that’s fine. People he cares about are watching at home, and the only person that truly matters is weeping at his side.

 

He squeezes Rin’s hand before bowing down to receive his medal. He takes the small bouquet in his free hand when offered, refusing to release his grip on Rin. This is their moment and he stubbornly refuses to let even Olympics procedure come between them.

 

When the Japanese anthem starts playing, accompanied by Rin’s messy sniffles, it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

 

 

**_Piece by piece he filled the holes that you burned in me  
at six years old and you know, he never walks away_ **

 

 

Everyone assumes they fight a lot, but honestly they don’t. They frequently bicker, but the vast majority of the time there’s no actual irritation to their words: no bite. They argue for the fun of it, because they’re competitive people, because teasing comes so naturally between them. Neither is particularly sensitive and it allows them to pick and prod at one another with no lasting effects. It’s part of their dynamic. Others may find it weird, but for them it just works.

 

This evening is different, however.

 

Rin’s on edge from the second he steps into the genkan, tense and irritable and humorless. He keeps trying to snuggle during the movie, to get into Haruka’s space, and while Haruka doesn’t mind closeness, teasing Rin for his clinginess is status quo.

 

 Haruka calls Rin a clingy crybaby, Rin calls him a water-obsessed freak and then they move on.

 

But apparently not today.

 

“Fuck, do you not want me here, Haru? I can leave if I’m being that annoying to you,” Rin snaps, jerking away from his spot cuddled against Haruka’s side.

 

Haruka blinks in confusion at the words, not sure how Rin’s jumped to such a conclusion but, well, Rin is a very good conclusion jumper so he can’t exactly call himself surprised. “What?” He finally articulates, hoping Rin’ll elaborate. Help him out a bit.

 

“Shit, I just wanted to, yanno, cuddle up with you and shit but you keep pulling away or saying I’m too hot or like… fuck, I can’t help that I’m hot blooded, Haru. I can’t help that I want to be near you. Just… shit, nevermind, I’m going home. I can’t deal with this right now.”

 

Before Haruka has a chance to regain his bearings, to figure out what to say, to explain that he was hot because the heater was on too high but he couldn’t get out from under Rin to go adjust it, Rin’s gone. The door slams in his wake and Haruka’s left alone in the living room with a half watched movie and the sweatshirt Rin’d forgotten in his haste.

 

Rin _is_ too hot, he’s a fiery redhead through and through, and his absence is as physically noticeable as it is emotional. After a few moments of sitting awkwardly on the couch Haruka reaches for the sweatshirt, tugging it on over his head, huddling into the familiarity.

 

Rin’ll get over it, right? Rin has a temper and overreacts, that’s just who Rin is. But he calms down as quickly as he angers. He doesn’t hate Haruka or anything. This isn’t a dealbreaker, right?

 

They’re still… together?

 

Haruka swallows hard and his heart starts pounding against his will, unable to control the fear that’s bubbling up through his belly and into his chest. The fear that ‘going home’ means ‘never coming back.’ It’s not rational and most of him knows it, but the irrational part of him is a powerful beast, one capable of beating down his sense of reality and sanity until he’s so far into his own head that he’s one step away from all-out panic.

 

He debates calling Makoto but he’s afraid he might choke up, and he refuses to be emotionally weak in front of his best friend. He’s a prideful creature, one who’s survived on denying himself the emotional rollercoaster that Rin seems to thrive on, and immediately asking someone else what to do seems counterintuitive anyways. He and Rin need to be able to handle things on their own. Even scary things. Things like Rin maybe never walking through that door again.

 

He allows himself to sit and wallow for a while, time inching by, until nearly an hour has passed and he knows he needs to actually do something. To distract himself.

 

So he starts gathering up the trash from dinner, Chinese take-out boxes and used disposable chopsticks, shoving it into the already half-full trashcan bag. He contemplates just how lazy he is, his mood foul, wondering if he’s truly motivated enough to take out the trash or if he should just do it come morning. But leftovers smell bad and he’s a stickler for a clean apartment, and as much as he’s started craving a lukewarm bath to clear his thoughts, the trash needs to go first.

 

So he heads to the genkan and slips on his shoes and opens his front door only to realize that someone’s there.

 

Someone’s never left, actually.

 

By his estimations it’s now been over an hour and yet there’s Rin, knees curled to his chest outside Haruka’s apartment door, fingers toying idly over something metal that Haruka can’t quite identify from how far away he is.

 

When Rin looks up at him his eyes are puffy, and in the back of his mind Haruka wonders how it’s possible that Rin sat out here crying and he didn’t hear it. Rin is a notoriously gross crier, though apparently capable of holding himself back if need be.

 

Haruka opens his mouth to speak but he’s cut off by Rin holding up the metal object in his hand, showing it silently to Haruka.

 

“What is it?” Haruka asks, voice low and weak, almost unrecognizable even to himself.

 

“The key to my apartment. Well… the spare key. I’m so stupid. I wanted it to be _your_ key. To _our_ apartment. And instead I just made an ass of myself, as usual. I swear to god I have it down to an art...”

 

Haruka refuses to acknowledge the incredible amount of relief that washes over him.

 

Rin doesn’t hate him. Rin isn’t leaving him.

 

They’re going to be okay.

 

Instead he sets aside the bag of trash, moving to take a careful seat alongside Rin. For a brief moment they sit side-by-side before Haruka’s head tilts, resting alongside that warm shoulder. Eventually he reaches over, taking that key in his hand, bringing the metal piece to his chest as he scoots in even closer to Rin.

 

It’s his now. No takebacksies.

 

Rin’s arm slipping around his waist is the best feeling in the world.

 

 

**_He never asks for money, he takes care of me_ **

 

 

So maybe Haruka should have listened to Rin. Maybe it really _had_ been too early to jump into a public fountain. But the water had looked so _beautiful_ and _perfect_ and there had been _sakura petals all over it_. It had all _screamed_ Rin to him and before he’d had the time to think, he was already in his jammers and floating on his back.

 

Two days later and he’s lying in bed, a cold compress on his forehead, buried under a mountain of blankets and surrounded by a sea of used tissues, trying to fight his way through one hell of a cold.

 

“I told you so.” Rin laughs as he steps into their bedroom, a bamboo tray in hand as he crosses the room to stand by the head of the bed.

 

“Shuddup…” Haruka grumbles back pathetically, and he acts like he’s annoyed even though his chest is swelling because he knows Rin’s spent hours in the kitchen making him homemade chicken soup (apparently his Australian host mother used to force feed it to him when he was sick abroad).

 

“Coach is going to kick your ass for getting sick, idiot,” Rin tsks, but there’s no bite to his words as he slides into bed alongside Haruka, reaching over to place a cool palm against a hot cheek. Rin shakes his head disapprovingly but says nothing, instead pouring a cup of tea from the kettle on the tray, gingerly handing it to Haruka. “Drink up. You need plenty of fluids to help flush out the cold. Gotta get you better fast so I can start kicking your ass again.”

 

Haruka snorts as he takes the cup because when was the last time Rin _actually_ kicked his ass in a race? At most there’s a second between them, constantly trading wins and losses. Neither of them has ever been able to really pull away from the other. Like everything else in their lives, they’re perpetual equals in the water.

 

He finishes off his cup of tea before Rin lets him have the soup.

 

Rin helps him eat it, and even though his nose is stuffed and his throat is sore, it’s some of the best tasting soup he’s ever had.

**_He loves me_ **

 

 

“Since the day we first met, my world has kept expanding. Even though we were just stupid little kids at the time, I knew even then that we were both destined for greater things. That you were special. Different. That just by meeting you my entire life was going to change. For the better. Always for the better, Haru. Swimming is my love but Haru, you-you’re my _soul_. You’re the reason I get up every morning, why I push myself so hard, why I-I refuse to deny myself the greatness I know I’m capable of. You’re my anchor that keeps me grounded but you’re also, you’re also the sail that lets me soar. You push me to be the best I can be, but when I fall you’re there to catch me, too. You never let me give up. Not on myself and especially not on y-you…” Rin pauses for a moment, struggling to regain his bearings, shooting a glare at Sousuke behind him, snickering at his tears. “O-Oi…” He grumbles out, moving to kick his best man in the calf. “Stop ruining my wedding, asshole.”

  
Haruka smiles, choking back the lump in his own throat, fingers giving Rin’s shaky hands a reassuring squeeze, silently urging him to continue.

 

Rin nods, mostly to himself, straightening up his back and swallowing his tears before continuing on. “I don’t want to live without you, Haru. Without you by my side. Without you challenging me, pushing me, loving me… I promise to love you with everything I have, to put you before myself, to share every piece of myself with you, good and bad. To be there for you, always. To never give up on you. To love you as much as you deserve to be loved. You’re my world, Haru, my shining, my everything… I love you.”

 

 

**_Piece by piece, he restored my faith  
that a man can be kind and a father could... stay_ **

 

 

It feels wrong coming home alone from practice, but Rin’s been sick for the past two days and no matter how hard he argued otherwise, he’s been banned from training until he recovers from whatever’s knocked him on his ass. Haruka’s stopped at the store on his way back, has gotten the ingredients for okayu, hoping that the mild smell and soft texture means that Rin might be able to keep it down.

 

Leaving that morning for practice had been hard, especially after spending almost the entire night in the bathroom with Rin, holding his hair and gently rubbing his back. His times had been piss-poor, but thankfully his coach hadn’t said anything.

 

Sousuke was off duty today, so he knew Rin hadn’t been alone, but he’d been completely unable to focus on training regardless. Rin is _never_ sick. Him? Sure. Jumping into bodies of water during the wrong season is one of his favorite past times, after all. Since rekindling their friendship in highschool though, he’s never seen Rin ill. Not once. They’re only one month out from selections for Rio, and Rin’s been even more neurotic about his diet and habits than usual. Haruka knows deep-down they’re both shoo-ins for the Olympics, but trying to reassure Rin of the fact gets him nowhere, so he’s long since given up. Rin’s too Rin to be sick at such a critical time.

 

He slips into their apartment, quietly toeing off his shoes, taking a step into the living room, a bit surprised to see the lights off. His first thought is that Rin’s actually asleep, that maybe he’d finally crashed and Sousuke had turned off the lights when he’d left. But as Haruka’s eyes adjust to the darkness he realizes he’s not alone, that Rin’s standing in their living room, eyes fixed on the ground, arms wrapped nervously around himself. “Rin…?” He manages to mumble out in concern, mind racing, not knowing what’s going on.

 

Why is Rin just standing around in the dark? Why isn’t he looking up? If he’s still sick, shouldn’t he be in the bathroom or the bedroom, asleep?

 

Haruka’s mind immediately goes to the worst, because 19 years later he still can’t shake the fear of abandonment. Something’s happened. Maybe _it’s_ happened. Maybe Rin’s done with him. Had he done something wrong? Said something? This all seems so serious. His face blanches and his heart starts pounding and shaky hands struggle to keep hold of the bag of groceries. “Rin?” He repeats, his voice thick with fear and nerves and if he could kick himself for being so damned _obvious_ he would.

 

“Haru…” Rin chokes out, finally looking up at Haruka, looking exhausted and ill and like he’s about to pass out any second now. Haruka wants to run to him, to grab him, to make sure he’s okay but he can’t because he’s frozen, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “I… I’m pregnant.”

 

The shoe doesn’t drop, but the bag of groceries does.

 

 

**_And all of your words fall flat  
I made something of myself and now you want to come back _ **

**_But your love, it isn't free, it has to be earned_ **

 

 

Rin misses Rio. As a swimmer, anyways. As the husband of Nanase Haruka, however, he screams his lungs off in the audience, heavily pregnant and not giving a single shit about the stares and attention he’s bringing to himself.

 

When Haruka’s in the water, he hears nothing but Rin’s voice, his screams, his excitement and his love and his support and by the end of the 4x100 medley, Haruka has swept all his races. He’s even brought home Japan’s first gold medal in the 100-meter freestyle since Miyazaki did it in 1932.

 

As he’s interviewed over and over again, he knows it’s coming. The attention, the endorsements, the fame that he doesn’t really want because all he cares about in that moment is getting away from the press and getting over to Rin. His team understands. They try to cover for him after the relay, to get the attention off him so he can be where he needs to be. This was Rin’s race, his relay. Everyone knows it. He should have been in the water with them, should have been the one yanking Haruka out of the pool and into a gold-winning relay hug.

 

Mikoshiba Seijuurou takes the rein, discussing the team medley gold and his own individual medley silver, giving Haruka the time he needs to slip away to the sidelines, to Rin. Rin can’t quite get to him, not yet anyways, but as soon as he’s in front of the sidelines Rin’s leaning over them, desperate to drag Haruka into a hug.

 

It’s exactly what Haruka wants and needs, and it doesn’t matter that he’s still wet and hasn’t cleaned up and he should be preparing for the medal ceremony because being in Rin’s arms is exactly where he should be.

 

“I’m so fucking proud of you, Haru…” Rin chokes out, and though Rin’s a crybaby Haruka is about 90% sure the tears are hormonal this time. But he appreciates it regardless, is relieved that there seems to be no jealousy in Rin’s voice, that it’s all love and adoration and happiness. Deep down he’d been afraid to compete alone at the Olympics. The Olympics were Rin’s dream first. Rin had been the one to drag Haruka along for the ride, and though Rin had already gotten his own gold medal in a miraculous London run, Rin should have been here, too. Rio should have been both of theirs.

 

He stays with Rin for a bit until he’s called away by Ikuya. They have to get cleaned up and ready for the medal ceremony, and he knows his teammate’s right even though leaving Rin hurts.

 

He still can’t shake the wrongness of not having Rin beside him as he leans down to receive his final gold medal of 2016.

 

The evening is a whirlwind, and it takes a while for him to finally escape the attention, to collect his belongings and sneak away from the press alongside his husband. They’ll meet up with the rest of the team later to celebrate, but for now he needs time to decompress. As they wander the village hand-in-hand, slowly because pregnancy has taken the speed out of Rin, Haruka finally checks his phone. As expected there are a ton of messages, his friends back in Japan bombarding him with their love and excitement.

 

But it’s the voicemail from the unknown number that catches his attention. Frowning he pulls his phone to his ear, playing back all his voicemails. The first is Makoto and Sousuke, both voices alternating and overlapping as they exhaustedly congratulate him in a blabber of barely coherent words. They’d stayed up to watch his final race. He’s not positive on the time zone difference, but he’s pretty sure it’s at least the middle of the night back in Japan, and a soft smile plays over his lips as he quietly acknowledges just how much his friends love him. There are other messages, one from Gou, one from Rei and Nagisa, even Amakata and Sasabe have sent him their love.

 

The final message stops him in his tracks.

 

He probably should have seen it coming, really. Because everyone may assume that he’s naturally good at everything, but nothing _actually_ comes easily for Nanase Haruka.

 

His mom congratulates him on his triple gold. Says how proud she is of him, because now that he’s taken Japan by storm he must actually have some value. He’s famous, now. Apparently they want to see him in person, to meet Rin because he’s married now? When did that happen (two years ago, he thinks, bitterly wondering if the invitation Rin had forced him to send had gotten lost in the mail)? And is that pretty redhead of his pregnant, too? Are they going to have a grandchild? And it takes every ounce of self-control he has not to lob his phone into the closest building.

 

“Haru…?” Rin asks, his voice soft and concerned because Haruka’s suddenly stopped walking without even realizing it.

 

“Sorry. Makoto and Sousuke left a voicemail congratulating me,” he finally says, giving Rin’s hand a squeeze.

 

“They’re still awake?” Rin tsks, shaking his head. “Idiots.” But he smiles through the insult because if there’s one person that understands the importance of friendly support it’s Rin.

 

“I’m sure they’re asleep now, the message is from a couple hours ago,” Haruka explains, quietly wrapping an arm around Rin’s shoulders and dragging his husband close. Rin’s a bit surprised but he says nothing as Haruka plants a sweet, gentle kiss to his temple. “I love you…” Haruka mumbles, the words out before he even realizes he’s saying them.

 

“Where’d that come from?” Rin asks, voice both amused and pleased as he glances over at Haruka.

 

Haruka shrugs because does he really need a reason to tell Rin he loves him?

 

“You better, though. You’re the idiot that put a ring on it,” Rin teases affectionately, planting a quick kiss to the corner of Haruka’s lips.

 

Haruka deletes the final message before they start walking again, hand-in-hand.

 

 

**_Back then I didn't have anything you needed so I was worthless_ **

 

 

The nurses leave them alone with Sakura once they determine he’s healthy and Rin’s alright. That first hour after birth is critical, and skin-to-skin contact goes a long way towards bonding. Rin tries to stay awake as long as he can, but he’s doped up on an incredible amount of post-cesarean pain medication, and no matter how hard he fights it he’s dozing against Haruka a few minutes later.

 

There aren’t really enough words to quantify the magnitude of love Haruka’s feeling in this moment. Matsuoka Sakura is _perfect_. He’s only known the baby for a half hour, but in that half hour he’s quickly determined that he will rain hellfire down on anyone who dares to touch a soft red hair on this little angel’s head. It’s not a stretch to say that he knows that his child is already better than every other child in Japan. The world, even. Sure he’s not even an hour old and he can’t actually do anything but wail and lay there, but damned if he isn’t the best lazy wailer out there.

 

Sakura’s resting on Rin who’s resting on Haruka, but Haruka’s in charge of keeping that steady hand on Sakura’s back, keeping him safe and cozy as both Rin and baby doze in and out. It’s quiet and it’s serene and after the dramatics of surgery Haruka can just feel how special, how precious this moment is. How important it will be for the rest of his life.

 

He wonders if this is how his parents felt when he was born.

 

Did they also feel this unflappable desire to love and protect? A willingness to die for the child they’d only just met?

 

What had happened between his birth and six-years-old to make him no longer worthy of that ingrained loyalty? Had they _ever_ loved him like this?

 

A small, pathetic little squawk of a cry from Sakura knocks him from his thoughts, and he doesn’t realize his eyes are full of tears until he looks down at his son and sees only a blur of red. With his free hand he wipes them aside, getting a clear picture of the squeaky infant, fingers curling and mouth suckling, finally making the connection. He doesn’t want to wake Rin, Rin’s earned all the sleep in the world, but the nurses warned them that Sakura’d probably be hungry within the first hour or so, and this isn’t really a job he can do in Rin’s stead.

 

Gently he nudges Rin awake, puffy, exhausted red eyes opening in confusion, trying to mentally wake up enough to figure out where they even are. Haruka watches in fond amusement as the pieces start falling into place in Rin’s mind, as those eyes blink away the exhaustion, a mumbled “m’sorry” slipping out.

 

Haruka frowns because why would Rin apologize for sleeping after giving birth? But instead of chastising his husband he tilts his head silently to their son. “I think he’s hungry.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Two days later, both Rin and Sakura come home.

 

 

**_But piece by piece, he collected me  
op off the ground, where you abandoned things, yeah_ **

****

****

The first time they take Sakura to the aquarium he’s in heaven. He’s 2-years-old and curious about _everything_ and absolutely cannot keep his tiny hands to himself. Rin’s taken to carrying him around because he won’t stay in his stroller and he takes off the second his little feet hit the ground. A trip to the gift shop to get him a new plushie (Haruka’d been pleased when his son had gone straight for the dolphin toy) at least keeps one of his tiny hands occupied, but the other is desperate to touch everything it can, whether it’s a hands-on exhibit or not.

 

Rin’s walking a good distance ahead of Haruka, attempting to keep up with Sakura’s ever-changing interests, following after a shark or a particularly sparkly fish as the toddler’s attention wavers.

 

For a moment Haruka stops and just watches, because Rin handles Sakura _so_ well. He’s so gentle with their son, so loving and thoughtful and patient, and all of those fatherly instincts that come so naturally to him create a well of love deep in Haruka’s chest. Rin is the father that he never had. That _neither_ of them ever had. Sometimes he wonders how Rin can do it. He doubts his own parenting all the time. Wonders if he shows his love enough, if Sakura realizes how much he matters, how important he is. As hard as he tries he still can’t overcome his own upbringing. How can Rin, someone who lost his father at an even younger age than Haruka, be so confident with their child?

 

With a quiet sigh he watches Rin point at a colorful fish, filling in the information gaps for Sakura, telling him all about the fish’s habitat, what it eats, why it has the colors it does. It’s a precious moment for Haruka. He’s not a part of it, not really, but Sakura looks so alert and Rin so attentive and Haruka wonders how he got so damned lucky. What did he do to deserve Rin? To deserve both of them?

 

He doesn’t notice when Rin looks his way, and it’s only Rin’s voice that manages to finally knock him from his thoughts.

 

“C’mon, Haru. We have a date with some dolphins, don’t we? We can’t not go see your favorites, you know.”

 

Sakura squeals in unbridled excitement, legs kicking and holding up his pink dolphin enthusiastic. “Dopins!” He cheers as Haruka nods, walking over to join them.

 

Without thinking he slips his hand into Rin’s free one and they head off to the dolphin show.

****

****

**_Piece by piece he filled the holes that you burned in me  
at six years old and you know, he never walks away_ **

 

 

No matter how hard Haruka tries to focus on his painting, he can’t. He’s in his studio, desperately trying to finish up the piece he’s been working on for a month. Now that he’s famous people actually want to purchase his works, and the attention is both complimentary and supremely annoying. He needs to finish this, though, because it’s overdue and his customer is waiting and he’s never been the best at working under pressure.

 

But two people who shall remain nameless (but are his son and husband) won’t stop thumping around and squealing like a bunch of schoolgirls in the living room. At least Sakura has the excuse that he’s three. Rin on the other hand… 

 

After another fifteen minutes he gives up on his painting. He could go yell at them, but it’s hard to get angry at Rin when Sakura’s clearly _so_ happy and he _was_ the one who asked Rin to keep Sakura out of the way in the first place. Sakura is great but toddlers are not conducive to successful painting.

 

He cleans out his brushes and washes off his hands and slips out of his painting apron before heading into the living room, admittedly curious as to what has both his boys so worked up.

 

When he turns the corner of the hallway that opens into the living room, neither of them come into his line of vision. He knows they’re there, though. Somewhere under the absolute mess of blankets and pillows and who knows what else that have turned his once pristine living room into a war zone, there are two mischievous redheads. There have to be, he can hear the incessant giggling. “What… is this?” he finally asks, blinking as the edge of a blanket is flung back and Sakura comes crawling out with a huge grin.

 

“We make a fowt, daddy!” Sakura squeals, all smiles and flailing hands.

 

“…A fort?” Haruka asks carefully, head tilting to the side as Rin appears on his knees overtop Sakura, offering an equally toothy grin.

 

“You never built a blanket fort as a kid?” Rin asks, and Haruka can sense the aching sadness that laces that question.

 

“No.” Haruka shrugs back, not seeing the big deal. He’d made an igloo with Makoto once, which he figures is fairly akin to the fort experience, but he’s never made a blanket fort before. His grandmother had been elderly and he’d been a quiet child to begin with. He certainly hadn’t wanted to make things difficult on her by wrecking her house in the name of childish fun.

 

“Were you never a child?” Rin snorts, scooping up Sakura with one hand and beckoning Haruka into the fort with the other. “C’mon, check out our digs.”

 

Haruka pauses for a moment, feeling like he’s supposed to be the adult here but also quite curious as to what’s inside there. He watches Rin’s butt as Rin turns to crawl back into the fort with his squealing captive, that ass invitation enough for him to follow suit.

 

Once Haruka’s inside he’s undoubtedly impressed by their work. Almost every pillow has been dragged out of their linen closet. There’s a lantern placed in the middle, lighting the entire mini-room up, and a stack of children’s books off to the side. A good portion of Sakura’s plushies have made their way into the fort, in particular Mr. Dolphin, who is front and center at the head of the odd round table of stuffed animals they’ve placed around the lamp.

 

“They’re having a meeting,” Rin explains, as though that makes _perfect_ sense. Haruka doesn’t question it though, because they’re both so excited he can’t help but feel the palpable swell of thrill building in himself. It’s cozy and warm and it’s _fun_ and he’s beginning to see the appeal that forts have for children. And Rin.

 

“So what do you do in a fort?” Haruka asks, content to play along, taking a seat across from Rin and smiling softly when Sakura crawls into his lap unannounced.

 

“Read and tell stories and eat snacks, obviously.”

 

“Like an impromptu flight to Australia obvious?” Haruka teases lightly, because Sakura loves hearing about their adventures together and it’s true.

 

“We’ve already gone over this, Haru. I was trying to sound cool and failed spectacularly. Trip _was_ pretty awesome, though. Anyways, want a tangerine?” Rin asks, offering a piece of fruit to his husband with a smile.

 

“Papa, tew me abowt Autwaya!” Sakura begs as Haruka takes the offered fruit, slowly pealing it while Sakura giggles and squirms on his lap. He offers up a slice to his greedy-fingered child as Rin laughs and begins to, once again, tell Sakura about the time he whisked Haruka off to Australia before nationals.

 

In hindsight, ten years later, Haruka knows now that Australia is where he fell in love with Rin. Or rather, where he realized he was in love with Rin. No one had listened to him like that before.

 

No, it wasn’t that Rin had listened. It had been that Rin hadn’t _needed_ to listen. He hadn’t pressured Haruka to talk, to face his future. He’d just offered him a dream and the way to obtain it, a listening ear if he needed it and a vote of confidence in his abilities. Rin had always had more confidence in him than he’d ever had in himself.

 

They decide as a family to spend the night in the fort.

 

Haruka has some of the best sleep of his life, curled up on a sea of pillows under a mess of blankets alongside his husband and child.

 

 

**_He never asks for money, he takes care of me_ **

 

 

Most days Haruka wonders how Sakura is even his. If it weren’t for those wide, oceany blue eyes, he’d probably joke that Rin clearly has a piece on the side. Sakura is so much like Rin, so exuberant and loving, that Haruka struggles to see himself in his son. It’s not a bad thing, really, because he thinks Rin is an amazing person and how could a son like that possibly be a bad thing? But he can’t help but search for himself in their child. It’s parental nature, he figures.

 

This day, however, there is no doubt whatsoever whose child Sakura is.

 

“Of all the things for Sakura to pick up from you, just had to be this one, didn’t it Haru?” Rin complains, kicking open their bedroom door, bamboo tray in hand. “What 3-year-old dives right into a random body of water? In spring? And what 3-year-old has a father dumb enough to do it, too?” Rin’s grouchy because he was up all night with both of them yesterday, and unlike Haruka he still had to go to training, had to make all three meals for them, had to clean the house. “His love of mackerel is one thing, but this one could really hurt him.”

 

Haruka wants to stubbornly tell him he’s overreacting, but it’s honestly pretty true. It’s one thing for him to get himself sick. He’s an adult with a fully-developed immune system. Sakura’s just a small child. So instead he keeps his mouth shut, refusing to agree with Rin while knowing he’s in no position to actually disagree.

 

Sakura’s curled up at his side, half-asleep, but Rin’s lack of volume control has him waking up. Sakura mumbles and whines, still on the cusp of sleep, but as Rin sits on the edge of the bed he comes to, blinking in lazy, tired confusion.

“Papa…?” He whimpers, and any irritation Rin may have had over the situation disappears in a flash.

 

“Yeah, it’s me kiddo. Sit up, I made food for you and daddy so you can get better faster, okay?”

 

Sakura nods, struggling to sit up with Haruka’s help, and for the next half hour Rin sits before them, feeding them both.

 

It’s probably the quickest Haruka’s ever gotten over a cold.

 

 

**_He loves me_ **

 

 

When Haruka’s under Rin, he gives himself over fully. The world comes to a screeching halt and it’s just the two of them. Every nerve in his body is on fire, but it’s not painful. It’s intense and it’s wonderful and it’s all-encompassing, because Rin does absolutely nothing half-way, including Haruka. There’s a comfort in surrendering to Rin, an ease, because with Rin is where he feels the safest. He feels infallible, unbreakable, because there’s zero doubt in his mind that Rin would never, _ever_ hurt him.

 

His breath is hitching and his fingers are buried in those ridiculously soft, wine-colored locks, hands clenching and unclenching with each deliciously perfect thrust. They’ve been together so long Rin doesn’t even have to try to work to find his prostate anymore, sex having long ago become innate, and Haruka’s a mess of twitches and tremors and clenched muscles as Rin forces him towards release.

 

Rin’s face is buried in his neck, breath coming out in a warm, quick staccato against his sweat-dampened skin, and the intense closeness is the only reason he can tell when Rin’s breathing takes a different turn. He’s so _close_ and he wants to just finish but he forces his eyelids open and hazily glances down at his husband because no matter how in the moment he is, when something’s off with Rin he has to make sure he’s alright.

 

He shifts his head to get a better angle and it takes him a moment to realize that Rin’s face isn’t only slick with sweat, that his eyes are shut and his lashes are damp and is his ridiculously stupid husband _seriously_ crying during sex? “Oi, nothing’s even up your ass,” he teases lightly, and Rin’s red eyes shoot open and he throws the most pathetic attempt at a glare Haruka’s ever seen. His face is flushed from exertion but Haruka’s quite sure that Rin’s blushing now, too.

 

“Sh-shut up…” Rin growls weakly, thrusting his hips sharply, snap of skin-on-skin reverberating through their bedroom. Haruka isn’t much of a laugher but it’s hard to hold back in that moment, his mind hazy with pleasure and yet still able to acknowledge how silly this entire thing is.

 

“Why?” He asks, voice thick with both pleasure and amusement, not one to turn down the opportunity to rib on Rin, even during sex.

 

“B-Because I just remembered that I-I’m fucking Nanase Haruka…” Rin chokes out, and this time Haruka _does_ snort because how the hell can Rin even think of something like that during sex? How stupidly romantic is Rin that he can’t even drill his husband of nearly six years without making it more meaningful than it has to be?

 

“You fuck me all the time,” Haruka responds coolly, and he knows Rin’s horribly embarrassed because his thrusts are becoming increasingly erratic.

 

“Leave me alone. I just r-really love you, you s-stupid asshole…” Rin barks out against Haruka’s neck, and Haruka can’t help the “you’re so lame” that slips out of his mouth in return.

 

Rin shoves in hard again, but this time he angles his hips just right, the slam to Haruka’s prostate causing him to see stars, and any other insults are choked back by a mewling, needy gasp.

 

 

**_Piece by piece, he restored my faith  
that a man can be kind and a father could... stay_ **

 

 

Unlike Rin, Haruka’s lucky. He doesn’t find out until after Tokyo that he’s pregnant, and he and Rin are able to complete one final Olympics run together, in front of their home crowd. He doesn’t sweep his medals this time, but he does get another medley gold, and having Rin to yank him from the pool after he clinches their team’s win is a hell of a wonderful feeling.

 

Rin doesn’t sweep his events either, but he manages to medal in 100m freestyle and earn gold in 200m butterfly and Haruka knows how important that individual gold is for Rin. Rin missed out on Rio, on his swimming prime, so being able to come back and win his own gold without anyone else’s help is significant for him. Haruka’s never been more proud.

 

Though they’re only 29 and 30, they both know this is their final Olympics, and standing on that podium together, once again holding hands, is wonderfully bittersweet. It’s the perfect ending to their Olympics story, from their shocking team win in London to Haruka’s solo destruction of Rio to their final run through Tokyo.

 

They pose in approximately a million pictures with Sakura straddling their shoulders, proudly wearing all of their medals around his tiny little neck. One of them quickly becomes the centerpiece to their bedroom dresser, and Haruka can’t help the warmth that builds in his chest every time he catches a glance of it.

 

It’s only a few weeks after the Olympics that Haruka starts to realize something’s off, that he doesn’t feel quite right anymore. When he gets choked up because the local market is out of fresh mackerel he realizes that there’s clearly a problem.

 

It’s Rin who suggests they go buy a pregnancy test. Or five, because apparently you can never be too sure.

 

A liter of chugged water later and they have their answer, crammed together in their bathroom after Sakura’s already been tucked into bed.

 

“Ha! Your turn to deal with morning sickness, sucker!” Rin gloats, but he’s laughing and grinning and he can’t control himself when he drags Haruka into an almost painful bear hug, lifting his toes right off the ground.

 

Haruka can only manage to choke out a disapproving “o-oi!” before grunting in irritation as Rin returns his feet to the floor.

 

“Shit, I can’t believe we’re doing it again. We’re having another kid…”

 

For a moment Haruka is overwhelmed by those words, terrified even, because Rin is the much better parent and can he _really_ be trusted to take care of his own health for the next seven months straight? But Rin’s grinning and laughing and can’t stop touching him and that warm, stable presence is so calming it makes him realize that maybe pregnancy isn’t so scary after all. He’ll have Rin at his side every step of the way.

 

 

**_Piece by piece I fell far from the tree  
I will never leave her like you left me_ **

 

 

“Congratulations, it looks like you’re having a little girl!”

 

Somehow, despite the 50% chance, it hadn’t quite dawned on Haruka that they could actually have a girl. Boys he knew. He and Rin were men, obviously, and Sakura was clearly a boy as well. All his friends were male, even. But girls? Girls were an almost unknown entity to Haruka. He’d had his grandmother, of course, and Gou was around, same with Ran, but that was about the extent of his extended exposure to the female half of the species.

 

Just when he thought he’d figured out parenthood, Rin’s stupid sperm just had to throw a wrench into his plans.

 

“Holycrap I can’t believe we’re having a little girl. Gou’s going to freak out. Hell, _mom’s_ going to freak out. I just… shit, wow, a girl. Man, we’re going to have to make sure to stay in shape, Haru. We’re going to be beating suitors off with sticks in like 15 years, aren’t we?”

 

“What about Sakura?” Haruka points out in amusement.

 

“…Shit, you’re right. We’re going to be beating suitors off with sticks in like ten years, aren’t we?”

 

 

**_And she will never have to wonder her worth  
because unlike you I'm going to put her first_ **

 

 

They decide to set up her nursery like the ocean.

 

For Sakura they’d stuck with his namesake, painting the room in beautiful blues and pinks and reds, a blooming sakura tree the backdrop of his crib, petals drifting across the wall. They both get choked up when they paint over it, but Sakura has moved to a larger bedroom and they agree that each of their children deserves their own, individually tailored nursery.

 

Haruka’s left both the door and all the windows wide open, making sure that the airflow is suitable as he works away at painting the underwater wonderland that will be the backdrop of her bedroom. It’s not really suitable weather yet for opened windows, but he’s layered himself up in sweatshirts and honestly the cold has never bothered Haruka that much anyways. He still doesn’t know how Rin survived five total years living in Australia, though; they’re both quite pathetic when it comes to heat.

 

He’s been working for a good hour or so and made a significant amount of progress. She’s due in just over a month and they’re officially entering the danger zone. If they don’t get her room done quickly, it’s possible she shows up first.

 

Rin’s in charge of Sakura, and the alone time is both nice and horrible. It’s nice because Haruka, even with a child and husband, still needs ample amounts of solitude to function at his best. It’s horrible because now that he’s heavily pregnant, he’s hormonal and having crazy dreams and he has about as much emotional self-control as Rin does on any given day. Which is to say, not much.

 

Needless to say, time alone with himself means time alone with his thoughts and it’s a dangerous prospect.

 

Even though he’s already been a parent for four and a half years, every little self-doubt he’s ever had comes crashing back to the surface. It’s the first time in a long time that he desperately craves parental guidance. Rin is the best father role-model he can ever imagine, but alone in the nursery with his soon-to-be-daughter, all he can think about is every failure he’s ever had.

 

And then he starts thinking about his own parents, about how he cut them off- what kind of son is he?- and before he knows it he’s ugly crying, thick tears rolling down his cheeks as he heaves desperately for air, dropping to his knees because he can’t stand up anymore, not under the heavy weight of his own inadequacies. They left him and still, three Olympics, a bunch of Worlds and a room full of medals later and he still feels guilty, feels like he failed, that he wasn’t good enough because if he were, they’d still be around.

 

His hand rests on his belly and he feels a soft kick, and he finds a weird sense of reassurance in the timely nudge. She’s not talking to him but it _feels_ like she’s talking to him, trying to reassure him, telling him it’ll all be okay.

 

“Alright, Sakura’s tucked in and sound asleep, you should finish up for the nigh- Haru?”

 

Rin’s on his knees and by his side in seconds, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, dragging him in close.

 

Together they cuddle on the floor in silence, cold air still breezing through the room.

 

Eventually the tears dry up.

 

 

**_And you know, he'll never walk away_ **

 

 

“Pomise, papa! No wet go!” Akira wails, and though Rin has a firm grip on both her tiny little hands, she’s terrified. It’s her first time in the water without floaties, and while she was a brave little warrior three minutes ago, now she’s in the water and it’s a whole other game.

 

Haruka’s content to swim laps with Sakura while Rin takes charge of swim lessons, because Rin taught Sakura to swim and while Haruka is obviously as good a swimmer as his husband, he falls far behind in teaching. Once Rin officially retires, Haruka has no doubt what Rin will do for a living.

 

“I’m not going to let you go,” Rin reassures, giving her small hands a soft squeeze. “I’ll never let you go, okay? Not until you’re really ready. And even then I’ll always be there to catch you, okay? I’ll always be here for you, Akira. I promise.”

 

His words must reassure her, because the rest of her swimming lesson goes off without a hitch.

 

 

**_He'll never break her heart  
He'll take care of things, he'll love her_ **

 

 

Haruka likes grocery shopping. He likes lazing around the aisles, ambling through the sales sections, comparing each individual filet of fish to make sure he gets the absolute perfect bite. Rin doesn’t have the patience for it, just wants to make a list and get in and get out, and so Haruka’s happily accepted grocery shopping duties for the entire duration of their relationship.

 

It works out, though, because while he grocery shops, Rin’s stuck by himself on babysitting duty, which has gotten infinitely more fun now that there are two kids.

 

He’s not quite sure if the ‘fun’ is sarcastic or not.

 

When he comes home from the store, their home is surprisingly quiet and empty. He highly doubts that Rin has decided to leave alone with both kids, so he shrugs to himself, removes his shoes, and heads towards the kitchen. He’s putting away the groceries when he finally hears Akira’s voice coming from her bedroom, and though he can’t hear it all, he can make out pieces here and there because, well, her volume control is still quite lacking. She’s only two, after all.

 

Once all the groceries have been put in their rightful place he follows the sound of her voice, peeking into her bedroom, head tilting automatically in interest.

 

“Wan odow, papa?” She asks. Her tone is off, like she’s trying to sound haughty, and Haruka can’t hide the small smile of amusement.

 

“Odor?” He asks Rin as he steps into the room, blue eyes scanning the small table surrounded by stuffed animals, Rin, and Sakura.

 

“Hors d’oeuvres,” Rin explains helpfully, taking the aforementioned apple slice from his daughter’s sticky hand.

 

“Ah.” Haruka offers, eyes meeting Sakura’s.

 

“Come on daddy, we saved you a seat.” Sakura smiles, gesturing to the empty seat between Mr. Dolphin and Sharkie, Akira’s favorite toy, and silently Haruka sits down.

 

“We gots tea!” Akira proclaims happily, reaching for the hot kettle only to have Rin cut her off. She huffs in irritation but he brushes off her frustration with an easy smile.

 

“We can’t have the princess serving the commoner his tea, can we? It’s unbecoming of her position.”

 

“Oh!”

 

Haruka has to bite back the smile that wants to spread out over his face, so very entertained by how easily Rin goes with the flow when it comes to their children. He’s terrible at come-backs during their arguments, but he’s extremely quick on his feet when it comes to keeping up with their kids. With keeping them safe. It’s admirable.

 

Rin pours him a small cup of green tea and slides it over the surface of the table to him.

 

It’s absolutely delicious.

 

 

**_And piece by piece, he'll restore my faith  
that a man can be kind and a father should be great_ **

 

 

“I-I’m so useless! I-I tried and and I tried and I still… I’m still not good enough…”

 

Once again Haruka’s frozen in place. It’s like he’s flashed back to when he and Rin were kids, when at 13-years-old he’d thought he’d crushed all of Rin’s hopes and dreams by daring to win.

 

This time, however, it’s Sakura weeping, and just like back then, Haruka has no idea how to comfort someone he loves. He doesn’t like losing, but the crush of defeat doesn’t get to him like it does to Rin and, apparently, Sakura. He doesn’t know how to react, how to comfort, because it’s a position he’s never really been in.

 

It’s Sakura’s first ever competitive meet, and he’s trained and he’s trained and he’s trained for this afternoon only to fall short. By a lot.

 

Of the nine kids in his heat, he comes out in fifth. Not enough to place in the top of his own heat, and certainly not enough to advance onto finals. It’s a crushing blow for a child who’s never tasted his own tears after losing at something he’s worked _so_ hard for.

 

Once again, Rin steps in. Haruka’s long-since learned to never doubt just how amazing a father Rin is.

 

“Sakura, it’s okay,” Rin says, his voice soft and reassuring as he wraps his arms around their son. “It’s okay to lose. Winning is… winning is an amazing feeling for sure, but it’s not everything. Winning doesn’t help you grow, not like losing does. What you do after you lose is what really matters. It’s okay to cry, Sakura, but _never_ feel like you’re not good enough. Never be ashamed of trying and failing. At least you tried. A lot of kids don’t even do that. And you’ll only get better. The more you work, the harder you push, you _will_ be rewarded. Talent is awesome but hard-work and a refusal to quit are the keys to success.”

 

 

**_Piece by piece_ **

 

 

The children are gone for the night and all Haruka can think about is fucking his husband. It’s not classy but it’s true, and Gou asking to spend some time with her niece and nephew has been an absolute godsend.

 

Rin makes dinner and it takes every ounce of self-control Haruka has not to shove Rin up against the countertop and go to town.

 

Don’t get him wrong, he loves his kids with every fiber of his being, but he _needs_ Rin. He needs Rin’s warmth and his heat and his love, needs his undivided attention and his touch and his _soul_ and he knows it’s greedy but Rin’s as much his as he’s Rin’s and sometimes Rin really isn’t just a want, he’s a need.

 

They play a rousing game of “how much can Rin focus on washing the dishes while Haruka’s sitting between his legs, sucking him off.” Rin loses this game pretty readily, but it’s a fun pre-show for when he finishes the dishes and Haruka greedily throws Rin over his shoulder, dragging him off to the bedroom.

 

Rin yelps and curses when his feet are no longer on the ground, but Haruka’s confident he can get them to bed before he drops his partner. Their weight difference _has_ narrowed significantly over the years, after all. He dumps Rin on their bed as soon as he can and is on top of him in an instant, crushing their mouths together in a desperation that Rin probably hasn’t seen since they were needy teenagers. They work hard at it but having kids is a blow to one’s sex life no matter how much one tries, and he refuses to waste one precious second of their evening alone.

 

“H-Haru..!” Rin yelps, trying to keep up with the flurry of movements as Haruka undresses him about as fast as Haruka can undress himself. Clothes are flying everywhere, and while Rin’s proven to be a master stripper as well, he’s too flushed and embarrassed to keep up with Haruka’s feverish pace. “C-Calm down! We have all night, sh-shit…”

 

They _do_ have all night, but Haruka has plans. He has a mental checklist. He has _goals_. And his goals include not only ravishing Rin, but also getting an unprecedented eight hours of sleep. So they _are_ on a time crunch of sorts, whether Rin knows it or not. “You showered before dinner, yes?” Haruka asks between needy kisses and nips to Rin’s neck. Rin whimpers while nodding, his clothes long gone, and it’s only another moment or two before Haruka has his fingers saturated with lube and is slipping one, then two, digits into his lover.

 

Rin’s already an overstimulated mess, probably because he’s still riding the high of his impromptu kitchen blowjob surprise, and he’s cursing and whining and spreading his legs as wide as he can as Haruka’s fingers move inside him, begging Haruka to keep going, goading him on with filthy, needy words.

 

No matter how much of a rush Haruka may be in he refuses to hurry prepping Rin, and he takes his time kissing Rin’s neck and chest and licking at his nipples while his fingers work away at loosening his partner. Once he’s absolutely positive Rin can take him with no pain he pulls away, planting one more hasty kiss on Rin’s lips before reaching over him, searching for a condom in the drawer of their bedside table. After a moment of blind fumbling he can feel the familiar wrapper, and he tugs the square out of its home before resettling between Rin’s legs.

 

He’s about to rip open the packaging when a hand grabs at his wrist, and the surprise of the gesture has his eyes drifting down to his husband. Rin’s chest is heaving and his eyes are full of lust but they’re hyper focused on Haruka in that moment and it’s enough to freeze Haruka in his tracks.

 

“Have you ever thought about having one more?” Rin asks, his voice weak and airy and laced with an underlying fear. “C-completing our family… maybe?”

 

He’d be lying if he says he hasn’t, because they’re still relatively young but nearing 35 has made him feel like they’re both on a time crunch and if they want another then the time is sooner rather than later. However, he really wishes Rin’s timing wasn’t so shitty. Really, Rin? When you’re approximately 15 seconds away from getting reamed, _that’s_ the time to bring up having more kids?

 

In the end he makes sense of it, pieces together why Rin brought it up in that moment.

 

Rin’s making an offer.

 

He tosses the unused condom back onto the bedside table.

 

 

**_Piece by piece_ **

 

 

Three kids had seemed like an awesome idea at the time, when they were both hot and heavy and horny and needy and their actual kids weren’t around to remind them how much work kids are.

 

In reality, having three kids is terrifying. They’re _outnumbered now_. Why had Rin possibly thought this was an idea worth suggesting? For that matter, why had Rin thought that going to Disneyland for Akira’s 4 th birthday with an infant was anything but a horrible, terrible idea? Okay, so maybe Rin had been proactive and gotten the tickets before he knew he was pregnant. But still, this was a bad, bad idea regardless.

 

“You _do_ make a cute Minnie,” Rin teases, and Haruka can’t help but toss him an irritated side-eye. Originally Haruka was going to be Pluto, with Rin as Mickey, matching Akira’s Minnie, and Donald Duck Sakura finishing off their family (Niji was deemed too small for a Disney hat, though he _was_ actually wearing his own little hat to protect him from the sun). But Akira had quickly raised a stink. It was _her_ birthday and she didn’t _want_ to be Minnie just because she was a girl.

 

And honestly, she was right. So she and Haruka had switched in the store, and now Rin is making a game of teasing him for his giant bow and ears.

 

“Stay close, Sakura!” Haruka calls out, ignoring his husband, because Sakura is eight now, and while he trusts his son fully, Disneyland is crowded and crazy and he needs to make sure his kids are all safe as they navigate the crowds in a group. Reluctantly Sakura wanders back in lazy strides, squeezing in between Rin and Haruka so he can walk alongside both of them.

 

They’ve foregone the stroller even for Niji, with Rin opting to just wear a carrier and shoulder a diaper bag. Haruka _had_ been carrying the bag, but Akira had insisted on riding his shoulders because she’s too little to see over all the other park-goers, and so Rin had ended up with both baby and bag. It helps a lot with weaving through the park, especially as they’re directed from place to place by the birthday girl as she asks to meet every single mascot she sees because they’re all so _amazing_.

 

Akira’s personality takes after Haruka’s. She loves the ocean and all things mascots and has a macabre sense-of-humor even though she’s only just turned four. Most girls reach for cute animals; she reaches for dark, freaky looking creatures like they’re the cuddliest things in the world. It’s no surprise that she finds dolphins kind of boring and shark teeth _amazing_.

 

To this day she’s upset that she didn’t inherit Rin’s teeth. None of their kids have, actually, though Niji’s first tooth is beginning to poke through and Haruka has a sneaking suspicion that he’s the one.

 

They take pictures with every Disney character they can find, and Haruka can’t hide his own excitement alongside his daughter’s when they’re surrounded by the life-size mascots. Unlike Sakura, there’s no doubt whose child she is. It’s probably a good thing, really, because once again Rin’s genes are stronger, and while her hair is significantly darker than even Rin’s, it’s still a deep, dark auburn red, with ruby eyes to match.

 

Haruka can’t help but have a fond appreciation for how uniquely different all three of his children have ended up. Well, okay, Niji doesn’t quite have a personality yet, but physically he stands out the most amongst the three, with his pitch black hair and his piercing red eyes.

 

Occasionally Rin passes off both bag and Niji so he and Sakura can run off and ride a roller coaster together. Haruka likes coasters too, but Rin _lives_ for them, and he can’t bring himself to deny his husband the childish joy of careening down hill at 60km/hr alongside their eldest child.

 

While Rin and Sakura wait in line for their ride, Haruka drags Akira and Niji to the family restroom for a quick diaper change. He wonders if Rin knew and passed the baby off on purpose, but sharing the load has been their motto since they started dating and, shockingly, there are worse things than changing diapers. Plus he’s better at it than Rin. Rin has the tendency to not align the tape properly in his haste, and while it technically works, it annoys Haruka because their baby looks lopsided. Haruka has a need for appealing aesthetics, and lopsided baby butt is not on his list of things he considers either attractive or cute. Niji deserves better.

 

Once Niji is ready to go Haruka straps the baby back onto his chest, making sure to plant a quick kiss atop that tuft of jet black hair before grabbing Akira’s hand and returning to the park. While they wait for Rin and Sakura they continue on their quest for costumed characters. Goofy makes a point of saying hello to both Akira and Niji.

 

His daughter is instantly smitten while his son starts sobbing uncontrollably in fear.

 

Thankfully Rin and Sakura return in time to rescue Haruka from his awkward predicament, Akira desperate to hug Goofy while Niji weeps for his tiny life.

 

“Go on, Haru, I know you love Goofy, too,” Rin teases, waggling his fingers expectantly, requesting the sobbing baby. “He’s probably hungry anyways.”

 

Haruka mumbles an extremely sincere “I love you” and has Niji off himself in under five seconds, passing the sobbing baby off to Rin and darting to join Akira and Sakura because he wants in on that picture _bad_.

 

Rin disappears to take care of Niji, leaving Haruka alone with his two eldest children. Once Goofy moves on they head to some of the nearby kiddy rides. Haruka’s been denied the roller coasters all day; he’s at least going to have fun on Dumbo.

 

Despite his initial fears, the rest of the day passes with ease. They lucked into nice weather despite it being March, and all three kids are exhausted and content by the time they manage to drag the crew home.

 

The kids end up in bed early, leaving Haruka and Rin to have some alone time of their own. They lay on the couch together, Rin stretched out like a sleepy cat while Haruka idly massages his husband’s feet, earning a whiny little mewl with every well placed press of his thumb. It’s relaxing and peaceful after a day on their feet, navigating large crowds with their small brood, and Haruka can’t help the warm feelings of fondness and success. He and Rin did it. They actually managed to handle all three kids, out in public, a day-long trip, with no damage done.

 

Sure it helps that Niji isn’t mobile yet- how is _that_ going to go?- but it’s still an accomplishment none-the-less. “We make a good team…” he mumbles out idly, mostly to himself, but his words earn him Rin’s attention anyways, and sleepy red eyes flit up at him.

 

“Hm…? Of course we do. We’ve been on the same team for the last fifteen years. I’d hope we’d have gotten good at it.”

 

Rin pokes at Haruka’s hand with one of his oddly dexterous toes, and Haruka can’t help but point out that Rin needs to cut his toenails, earning himself an amused snort.

 

Haruka’s never viewed it that way, but Rin’s right. They became a unit, a real team, a _permanent_ team, long before the births of any of their children. They’re much stronger together than they are apart, and it’s both sobering and uplifting to realize just how much they depend on one another. Long ago Haruka would have balked at the idea of being tied down to another person, would have viewed it as a threat to the freedom he was so desperate to preserve.  

 

He’s glad he’s changed, though. His personality hasn’t changed, no, because it’s a common misconception that age changes who a person is. His mindset has, though.

 

Rin’s no longer threatening. Rin’s no longer something that can be taken away from him. For so many years he waited and waited for everything to unravel, for the rug to be yanked out from under his feet, for the best thing in his life to leave because that’s just what people do. People leave him.

 

But piece by piece Rin has built him back up. He’s taken all those shattered little fragments, no matter how small, and gingerly repaired the man he loves. Rin’s not an artist so the repairs aren’t perfect (the original wasn’t perfect to begin with), but he thrives at puzzles and he never turns away from a challenge and even though it’s time consuming he refuses to quit. He vowed to never give up on Haruka and he’s kept his promise, has spent years and years slowly, unknowingly, healing the man he loves.

 

Haruka loves his life. He loves his family. And most of all he loves Rin, with every tiny fiber of his being. Piece by piece, Rin has made him whole again.

 

“I love you,” Haruka says, voice warm and low, a shy, affectionate flush settling over his cheeks.

 

Rin just smiles.

 

He already knows.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Random side notes:
> 
> Makoto walked Haru down the aisle. Gou and Sousuke walked down together, while of course Mama Matsuoka walked Rin.
> 
> Rin crying because he’s fucking Nanase Haruka is a shout out to the post going around tumblr about Rin not crying during sex because he’s in pain but because he’s overwhelmed by the awesome that is boning Haru. I didn’t mean to actually make Rin such a crybaby, but when it’s a fic focused on all of the biggest events of their lives, from Olympics to weddings to the births of their children, I figure Rin’s going to cry a LOT.
> 
> Haru got silver in the 100m free in Tokyo while Rin got bronze. However Rin got gold in the 200m butterfly and silver in the 100m butterfly. Obviously they both got gold together in the 4x100 medley. Haru ends his Olympics career with five golds to Rin’s three. Rin missed Rio, though, so they’re fairly even. 
> 
> Haru is a fantastic father, but he focuses more on Rin’s abilities than his own because he’s riddled with self-doubt. Had this been from Rin’s POV you better believe he would have showered Haru with praise like Haru did him. Sorry if the parenting seemed one-sided!
> 
> Niji’s bedroom theme is a rainbow, though in a more muted color scheme to keep it from being ostentatious. Haru hand-painted his nursery just like he hand-painted the others. 
> 
> Niji does, in fact, end up with Rin’s shark teeth. He ends up being quite the shy child, made all that much worse by his freaky teeth. Akira remains super jealous. 
> 
> Akira’s princess phase pretty much lasted all of one month.


End file.
